Prime Number
by theheartstourniquet
Summary: i have to make the numbers line up and lie down. that way everything will be fine. The acid will recide and everything will be okay. "2,3,5,7,11,13,1-" "yukimura-san?" "not now Light-kun. 17,19,2-" "yukimura-san" "What !" "why are you so interested in prime numbers?" "...Shut up Ryuzaki-san" LxOC
1. Chapter 1

The rain fell in a light drizzle today. Smelled smoggy and polluted. Moments like these make me wish I could run through the forest, run so fast not even the wind could breeze by me but I knew, yes I knew, I'd never be that free. It had been raining for a few days now. Odd. Really odd. My gaze focused from its glazed state and watched as the bus arrived. The people around me shifted, anxious to be the first on the bus, first to a seat, first out the rain. The bus pulled in slowly and my eyes locked with the side mirror. Sometimes I'd just imagine the bus not slowing down, keep going, keep going until BAM the side mirror smashes my skull in. Sometimes I imagine it hitting my head so hard my head flies off. A fast death, painless, I'd like that. I join the small crowd to board the bus. Not forgetting my manners and letting the elderly go first, a boy cuts in front of me, probably 16-17. Rude. Is chivalry dead? I look at the time. 4:45. Four plus four is eight plus five is thirteen. I like that number. Prime. Very good number. ( its 10:07 pm. Ten plus seven is seventeen minus four is thirteen. My favorite number) The bus ride is full of a melancholy hum of heart beats, breaths, coughing and the sound of tires on road. Rain slides against the window and I wonder if rain could feel, is it scared? Does it hurt when it collides with the window and slide down, being pushed and merged with other droplets and stepped on absorbed and – the list could go on and on and on? I check the time.5:18. Five plus one is six plus eight is 14 minus seven is seven. Good number. Good number.

I get off the bus and walk home, rain meeting my skin and batting at my eyelashes. My eyes twitched and flicked with each drop. A drop hit me directly in the eye. As I opened my front door and stepped in I counted every step to my room, stairs included. 28 steps. Two plus eight is 10 plus three is thirteen. I love that number. I peeled off my coat and hung it on the closet door knob and dropped my book bag on the floor and escaped my shoes,socks, and clothes in general. Now only wearing my undergarments I searched for my pajamas and pulled them on. I heard the front door open and counted the steps it took for them to come up. 18 steps. I opened my door and watched my dad enter his room. He doesn't have a job right now sadly. We were only suppose to live in this house for half a year and then they'd buy a house. Instead my dad lost his job (his boss was just itching to fire him) and was job searching. My step-mother had to bring in the main income now. They'd have arguments every now and then, bad arguments, the last one was about how my dad stayed on his Xbox. I admit that I even thought he spent too much time on it. He was neglectful and tended to obsess with computers. I remember when I was little and my dad had a computer, he neglected me for days, three days, there's only so much a 6 year old can do and so I ate peanut butter, just peanut butter. Once I had choked and gagged on it for a couple of minutes before trying to wash it down with some water. After that my dad would at least make me meals. And as I watched him from my room as he boot up his computer and turned on his Xbox.

I sighed, the last argument, my step-mother almost left. I had locked myself in the bathroom and…and…

I shivered, red flashing in front of my eyes, and looked at the time. 5:28. Five plus two is seven plus eight is fifteen. Not a good number. My stomach churned, the acid unsettled. Five minus two is three. Ok. Three plus eight is eleven. My stomach settled and my oncoming headache eased. I laid on the bottom bunk. Me and my little sister shared room. Her constant wakening during the night keeps me up, that and the light from the tv. I'd turn it off but…im scared of the dark…

I needed to do my homework. But my feet won't listen to me. I don't usually start my homework until 6:00 pm. But I'll just be tired by then. I sat up, bumped my head on a support beam and laid back down groaning in agony.

" ugh. I. Hate. You." Of course I was talking to a currently absent sister of mine. I honestly didn't like her. She never listened to any of us and never gets punished for misbehaving or lying. Its like our parents wouldn't hesitate to punish us for misbehaving.

My fingers clenched and rubbed at my head, desperate to ease the pain. I counted and rubbed in circles, my eyes shut. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. The ache slowly ebbed away. My efforts of avoiding a headache are in vain. I knew I shouldn't have tried to do my homework before six. If I would have waited I wouldn't be in pain right now. Instead I settled on reading some Death Note fanfiction. I don't usually pair L and Light together, maybe L and B or L and an OC…..or B and an OC but it's a bit harder to find one of those that I like.

As I scrolled through I had the feeling something bad was going to happen. My stomach lurched and bubbled. I imagined the acid being black and thick like tar, slowly eating away at my insides. My mouth watered and I lunged from my bed and out my room and into the bathroom, my lunch and breakfast escaping through my mouth. I tried to breath and the acid burned my throat, crawling it way back up my esophagus and this time choking me and rushing into the toilet. Ringing resounded in my ears and I could feel it vibrating within my skull. I barely registered a creak from my parents room.

"you okay ?!" my dad hollered from his room.

Am I okay? Yes. I'm just fine. Just fine. Just got to get the numbers. Make them work. Line up and then lay down and then it would ease and I could do my homework then sleep.

" yeah, just the school lunch.'' My dad laughed and continued to chat with some online friends that he never met. Barely knew and yet told them everything and anything about what goes on in our house. But he's a liar. Just like everyone else. All stuck in our endless web of lies like flies trying to struggle out. One day I'll be the spider and eat their lies, all their lies and sorrow and pain it would fade and ….and….the numbers would lay down and line up and sleep. It would stop. Stop when I become the spider. My stomach lurched and I spewed more black acid into the toilet.

.

.

I awoke during the night. The support beam in my bed was digging in my hip and rubbed sorely at the bone. The television flickered, throwing blue dots in my vision and I clenched my eyes shut and rolled over and hit my head on something hard. I counted to seven and opened my eyes. There lying on my bed was a cardboard package. I grabbed my switch knife from under my pillow….my dad bought it for me…..

I opened the package and searched through the mountain of foam peanuts until my hand hit something solid. I grabbed it and pulled it out. It was the kuroshitsuji pocket watch I ordered a few weeks ago. I took it out the plastic wrapping and watched the metal dangle on its chain. I caressed it and clicked the trinket open. The time on it was stuck on twelve. I brought my phone from under the bed and checked the time. 2:22 am. My sister shifted on the top bunk. I sat up, my back hunched to hover over and compare the time. I set the pocket watch and waited till exactly 2:23 to let the watch start. Two plus three is five. Good. Five plus two is seven. Good. My stomach fluttered in satisfaction and the bed shifted before the television flicked to a new channel.

Sigh. My sister was awake and as the opening came on for her favorite show. I smothered myself in my pillow, pocket watch clutched in one hand. It was going to be a long night.

.

.

And yes it was a long night. I yawned as I walked to my first period, CADD, a.k.a Computer Aid Drafting and Design. Yeah I attended a trade school. Don't get me wrong its not that I didn't have the grades to get into a better high school I was just lazy and when I actually put forth the effort I could totally dominate grades. Well not dominate but give an above eighty average. If you don't believe me look at my report card or twice in a row honor roll. But as tired as I was right now, walking down the hall, I could have pulled a pillow out of thin air and slept in the middle of the hall and not care about the impending traffic jam I would cause in the halls. I pulled out my pocket watch and clicked it open. 7:59. School starts at 8:00 and class starts at 8:15 but I like to be early to class or at least on time.

As soon as it was 8:00 the bell rang and the footsteps could be heard two floors below, all coming from the cafeteria. I quickly walked in before it became 8:01. My teacher was having a chat with some upper classmen at the computer. I walked to my drafting desk. As a sophomore I wouldn't start working on computers until I finished this last building design. The last one was a duplex design, the entire design was on the quarter scale. I set my things under the desk and sat on the hard stool. I tapped my fingers on the desk until the first of my friends trickled in. First two taps then three taps on one hand then five on the other then eleven on the other and thirteen and seventeen and nineteen and- my friend taneisha walked in and I checked the time 8:12.

"You're late! Why are you late, huh ? Huh Mason?" I could pronounce her name right so I just called her by last name.

"Shut up Stephanie" my friend smiled and swatted at me. I giggled and eyed the door waiting for one more person. I checked the time 8:14. Eight plus one is nine minus four is five. Good. I watched Mason set her things down and pull out papers with scribbled measurements , right triangles, an Ames lettering guide, and her T-square and drafting pencil. I looked back at the door as the bell rang. 8:15. Sydni walked through the door, scarf on her neck and hair done in elegant braids that started at the part in the front and hallo'd her head. Masons hair was shaved all around except in the front where it was braided and track was sown in. It covered her forehead and shadowed her eyes, also hiding the scar on her upper forehead from when she got hit by a car last year( I thought it was cute). I know at least seven people who have been hit by a car. I myself have almost been hit three times since 2013 started. Some drivers are purposefully trying to hit us, at least that's what I think. So instead I look like a chicken with its head cut off trying to run across the street before I get pancaked by an SUV. As class continued more and more students trickled in. Our class didn't truly start fifteen minutes after 8:15 simply because nobody shows up on time.

As class wore on even more students showed up and slowly the volume of class increased. I went to sharpen my pencil and as I passed mason I kicked her in the back of her knee and laughed as her knees buckled and she braced herself on her desk. I turned and pranced away before she could hit me and sharpened my pencil before returning to my desk.

.

.

I watched my pocket watch, counting down until 9:50, the exact time when the bell rang. Nine plus five is fourteen minus seven is seven. Good. I suddenly felt sick, the crowded hall dimmed and whoots of laughter rang out, someone found the light switch. The crowd suddenly got tighter, more compressed and the floor cleared ahead. Screams and shouts vibrated and echoed in the hall, in my ears, and I was roughly elbowed in the ribs. My breath left me and I crumpled to the ground and looked through the legs of the teens around me. Ahead on the floor I could barely make out two girls grappling at each other, pulling hair and throwing punches. I could hear ripping and the scream and insults and noise and the sickness and my stomach lurched and bubbled, swaying in its place attached to my ribs which ached at its weight. I hated fights and violence; I hated close contact with people in the first place. The room spun faster as voices rose and the screaming and squawking and the sound of flapping wings and flying insects and…oh god I was going to be sick. I elbowed my way around the fight and hall monitors and police and ran toward the bathroom. Threw open the door and ran into a stall where I dislodged this morning's breakfast into the toilet. The room spun dizzyingly fast, I braced myself on the stall and did my best to stand on shaking legs. The room suddenly tilted to the left and I fell with it, hitting my head on the other side of the stall. Red cloaked my vision and my stomach twisted and knotted.

Numbers. The numbers. I had to make them line up and lie down. I pulled out my phone, forgoing the effort of making out the numbers on my pocket watch. 10:03. Ten plus 3 is thirteen. Wonderful. Ten times three is thirty minus seven is twenty-three. Good. Good. Okay. Breath.

It wasn't working, the room was slowly darkening until it was nothing but pitch black. Suddenly blinding light burst into the darkness, licking the air around me in orange and red wisps. The sound of crackling wood reverberated through my ears and suddenly all I can feel is intense heat. I looked around and finally the black receded until I could make out the burning room and then came the smell and the coughing. The air was choking and suffocating. Each lungful of ash made my lungs ache and burn. I looked around trying to find a way out. I was in the kitchen and quickly headed through the door to the living room. The sound of splintering woods was followed by a loud crack and the ceiling caved in. sending ashes and embers flying into my face. I coughed and choked, desperately gasping for air.

I moved my way around the fallen support beam and ran to the door. I ran out just in time as the whole building came down in nothing but burnt wood, fire, and lost memories. I gasped, desperate to bring in the oxygen my lungs yearned for. A paramedic ran up to me and yelled back at the firefighters. His words were nothing but buzzing in my ears. I searched my pockets for my phone. The paramedic was trying to drag me to the ambulance but I wanted right now were the numbers. As I searched my pockets I realized I was wearing my school uniform. I was wearing a simple t-shirt and pants. Inside my pockets was nothing but the pocket watch. I clicked it open and trembled at the time. My stomach gurgled and the acid became poisonous, my insides black and dissolving. It was 6:03. That's not right. That would mean nine hours of my life just disappeared.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Six plus three is nine minus four is five.

.

.

The paramedics now had me in the ambulance now and as I looked around and took their tests, answer questions and breathed nothing but oxygen through some strange tube. I noticed that both the paramedics looked Asian and were speaking in perfect English but the writing on their equipment I could only think was Japanese. And as I looked closely and concentrated, I realized I can fucking understand something that I never have been able to accurately remember. Well fuck. Shit. Damn it. Gosh !

" excuse me ? sir ?' I asked the paramedic who was checking on the oxygen level in a tank. The ambulance tipped and swerved, nauseatingly. He turned to me with his full attention.

"yes? Are you feeling unwell? Is there anything that hurts in particular ?" I rubbed nervously at the pocket watch in my hand, the chain attached to my pants.

"No its just that…where am I ?" he looked me in the eyes as if trying to find something wrong. Dark brown eyes and hair weren't exactly intimidating but he was getting pretty close to creeping me out.

"You're in Tokyo, Japan. Sound familiar ?" oh sweet merciful heaven please have mercy on my benevolent soul for I just might die here and now. Oh god my parents are going to kill me. My dad is going to be all " How the _fuck _did you get to Japan ?" and my step-mother is totally going to shit bricks.

.

.

So I had come to the hospital, they asked me questions, checked about my story, where I'm from, where I live, and then told me it was basically bullshit and my life is a lie. Excuse me while I go count my tears. So now , after being checked up and rudely violated by a tube up my nose for a few hours, I'm leaving, off to an orphanage somewhere in the Kanto region. And as I make my way there in this police car, with nothing but the clothes on my back and my stop watch, I can't help but line up the numbers and lay them down to try and resist going to sleep and knocking my head against the window.

.

.

The woman in charge of the orphanage welcomed me with open arms. She was very friendly and pretty if I might add, dark brown eyes and high lights on the lower end of her long hair. Despite the time of night and heavy rain she seemed wide awake. I on the other hand was almost dying on the inside. It was currently 8:47. Eight plus four is twelve plus seven is nineteen. It's prime but my least favorite, mainly because I'm supposed to be going to college during that year of my age. The lady ushered me in and even invited the officer, flustered and confused he denied and set off to a call on his walkie-talkie thing.

She brought me in and guided me up the stairs to the third floor and showed me my room.

"You'll get along so well with all the children! A couple of teens with nasty manners live here but they don't bother anyone really. Tell me um…"

"Stephanie" I supplied. She gave a look of confusion and sounded out the foreign name.

"ste-pho-nee" I winced at the choppy pronunciation and so did she.

" you can just call me Hanna" it was close to my middle name, Anna. She smiled and brought her hands together in a silent clap.

"ah! Well Hanna, I wanted to ask you if you're a foreigner ?"

"Yes. I'm from America. The policemen told me the place and information I provided doesn't match up and apparently I don't exist in the U.S files" I said this sadly while glancing at the time.

9:00. Nine plus four is thirteen.

.

.

I had thought it weird when one day after attending a Japanese school and having many curious teens ask to touch my hair and run their fingers through the slightly rough strands ( who asked me if I was half or black or white or pretty much any question about my ethnicity. Of which I answered half black, half white.) I walked by a manga shop, backed up, pulled my skirt down from its path of riding up my slightly wide ( their pretty wide ok. But not in an unattractive way, I say) and made my way in to look around.

I looked at some familiar manga and looked around for a favorite of mine. I went to ask the store clerk who looked me up and down in my tan school uniform.

"Do you have the Death Note manga ?" he shook his head and recommended a different manga. I declined and made my way out the store. Then immediately ran into something hard. Me being in such a hurry to leave the store ended up toppling over whatever I ran into. I rubbed my head with the hand that wasn't clutching my book bag and propping me up. I looked down and met with two startled brown eyes.

" E-Excuse me ! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!" I bowed in an apology which felt weird and I had to hold in the urge to stand straight. I felt like bowing was showing that I was of lower status, not as good as someone else.

"its fine yukimura-san. Are you an otaku by any chance ?" he chuckled and stood to his full height , which wasn't as tall as I'm used to, I still can't understand how short many of the people here are. He was my exact height and I had to ask him who he was. He is wearing my school uniform and looks familiar if only slightly.

"Do I um…know you ?" I said then looked at my trusty pocket watch. 4:15. Id be in a hurry but I can stop for a chat and be home by 4:40.

" we have second period together, yukimura-san. I'm light Yagami" he chuckled, good naturedly. Immediately I could feel the world suddenly shrink and my stomach lurch.

Four plus four is eight minus five is three. Okay. Four times one is four times five is twenty. Not good. Not good. My stomach bubbled and expanded, poisonous gas unsettling and trying to make it way upward. My vision went red and I could hear the buzzing.

"are you feeling well, yukimura-san ?" No. NO I am NOT okay. Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me ?! I started to count , had to get the numbers to line up, lie down.

Everything tilted to the side and suddenly all I could see was numbers. Numbers. Numbers. A hand braced me, my legs wobbly and a horrible liquid burned my tongue.

"Hanna-chan ?" my adopted mother's voice rang out.

"Mom?" I could hear a quick discussion before being urged down the sidewalk .

2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23,29,31,37,41,43,47. Line up. Lie down. Get eaten by the spider. Be the fly. Face your death. Be injected with my stomach acid and watch as I suck out all your lies, pain, and pain then ebb into nothing but a dull gray and slowly oh so slowly…

…Disapear…


	2. Chapter 2

I had stayed home for three days after my run-in with Light. My adopted mother was understanding and only held support and love for me through those three days where all I could do was lay there and count for hours on end. My mom knew even before she adopted me that I had a slight affection for numbers and simply let me carry on. She seemed to have no difficulty raising me as a single parent and I found myself wishing that she was really my mother. But as I lay here on my bed in my own room I couldn't help but worry about going to school the next day. She knew I liked the number three in particular and would only give me three days to stay home. But today was my last day and I dread having to face Light again.

I got up and stretched my legs, knees popping and a sigh of bliss. I checked the time, 3:10. Three plus ten is thirteen. Okay. My knuckles popped as I pressed down on them then stretched. I walked over and sat at my desk (I cant believe I have a desk in my room) and pulled out some paper to doodle. I drew a chibi Light and me. I was in the process of drawing the leg for my character that was drop-kicking the Light chibi when my mother came in. In her hands was a tray of cut fruits and apple juice that she set down on my night table (ohmygoodness I have one of those). She kissed my forehead and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Are you feeling any better ?" she asked and observed how my eyes strayed to my alarm clock.

"Much better, thanks mom" I told her as I plucked a melon slice and popped it in to my mouth. Her eyes brightened as a smile graced her face. She seemed untouched by age and stress. Her face was flawless, eyes and hair dark brown with light brown highlights. She was so pretty in my eyes and I wish we shared the same blood. My eyes were a dull dark brown, encircled by light shadows from sleepless nights. My hair was a simple brown that shone almost a dark mahogany in the light of winter and light brown in the light of summer. Where she was wonderfully slender and graceful I was ...well curvy…..if only in the curve of my hips and inward curve of my sides. I was awkward with my movements, trying to be graceful but failing (so hard btw).

"Tell me about your day" I told her and she smiled, nodded and tucked a strand of long hair behind her ear. She told me about how she was close to being late today and that her department had a new model who she was assigned to. Me and my mother –Natsuki-sama- talked for a while.

We were in the middle of a fit of giggles about her new model when she asked me about Light.

"H-He's in my second period class, just an acquaintance" because of my high I.Q. (I think they got the results mixed up or something) when I came here instead of being put in a junior class I was put into a senior class ( most of which I was taller than). I felt sick again and wanted nothing but to sleep for an hour or so. But this was bonding time and I didn't want to be rude to someone who has been nothing but nice to me.

"An admirer perhaps?" she looked at me coyly and my face erupted in a fierce red.(iv always been quick to change colors)

"Nothing l-like that!" I tried to wave off her inquisition but my flustered state only seemed to confirm her suspicions and as she glided out the room going on about condoms and safe sex I couldn't help but to slump after her whining about how there would be no baby making or anything entering and leaving that part of my body.

That night, I slept deeply and woke up well-rested but dreading running into Light. The walk to high school was uneventful and the shorts under my skirt came in handy as always when a big gust of wind came through. It was when I was running my hand over my head, trying to lay down some hair that escaped from my ever present ponytail that I saw him turn a corner up ahead. _We take the same way to school? How have I not seen him before? _My eyebrow twitched and then I quickly hid behind the nearest light pole. _I didn't expect to see him so soon. I don't want to see him at all in fact. shitshitSHIT! _ _If I could just casually continue to walk behind him all the way to school without accidentally stalking him_….I looked at him from behind the poll. And there he was, standing casually and facing my direction. _Well shit whose he looking for?_ I glanced around me and refrained from hitting my head on the light poll. _He's looking at me._ I inwardly cried, added up the time to a perfect prime of 17 and came from behind my poor hiding spot.

"Yo! Yagami-san !" I waved slowly, book bag swinging along in the other hand.

"Hey, Hana-chan" I walked next to him and looked away angrily.

" just who are you addressing so formally Yagami-SAN" Light chuckled and patted me on the head. Do I look like I'm tiny enough for you to be patting me on the head? As if I was some short school girl of which to make fun! I'm pretty sure I'm taller than him by at least an inch!

"Don't touch me so freely!" I glared and he chuckled.

"Don't be that way Hana-chan." I gave him a bland look. _He's not stupid but he might be deaf._

"That's Yukimura-SAN to you" I looked away angrily. _ Stupid Light._

We walked to school together, him picking at me and tugging at my ponytail. I swatted at him and pouted most of the way but it was actually pretty fun. I never knew how nice Light was before he became some crazed killer (sociopath). And I honestly liked people playing with my hair; it's very sensitive and tends to have a mind of its own. I put my shoes away in the lockers and put on the foam slippers they had us wear. It's honestly so weird not to wear shoes during school. Light had gotten spirited away by a few of his friends. I don't want o seem rude to the students here, but I honestly loved my solitude and therefore did my best to not become more than associates with anyone here.

I shuffled to class; the sound of the slippers rubbing against the hall floor pleased my ears. I hummed a song and had to stop myself from actually screaming from a yelling part in the song. I went through the songs in my head, switching from one to the other like a random radio station that changed every five minutes._ Well I'm not a vampire but I feel like one! sometimes I sleep all day- I want to make you move because you're standing stiiilll- well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you-. _And you get the point,right? I entered class and set my things on my desk and sat down. It would be a tiring day at school._ As usual._ I checked the time. 8:00. My trusty Sebastian watch has yet to fail me but damn it eight is not prime. The teacher walked in and everyone ran to their seats and stood.

.

.

Classes were uneventful but man was I tired. Light walked over to my sprawled out form on the desk and nudged my shoulder. I turned to him angrily; his smug smirk irked my soul to no end.

"Don't think you'll be able to get out of cleaning duties just because you're tired, Hana-chan" the urge…to choke him..must resist…..ugh.

"Kindly piss-off Yagami-KUN" I emphasized the 'kun' part hinting at the lacking formality he addressed me with. Someone called out who was going to sweep.

"Over here!" Light yelled and the girl, Akamichi-san I think, handed him the broom and dust pan. He handed me the broom and smiled before pointing at the floor.

"Get to work" _I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING KIDS BRO, DO YOU WANT TO DIE TODAY ?!_

I inhaled and exhaled in an effort to stay composed and _calmly_ snatched the broom from light, flipped him off and started sweeping. When I was done everyone had finished straightening the desks and papers and were probably already on their way home. I wiped my sweaty hands on my shorts . I sighed, gathered my things and left the classroom. As I left the school grounds I looked around and saw Light standing up from the ground with a black book in his hand…

Well shit…

The game has begun.

I looked at the time 4:18. Four plus one is five plus eight is thirteen. Okay. .Inhale.

"Light?" my voice cracked and I did my best to clear it. Light turned and waved at me, book in hand.

"Hey Hana-chan" he walked next to me, book at his side. I eyed it from the corner of my eye. I needed to get that book away from him. I preferred the annoying Light to the crazy-sociopathic-manipulating-bastard-kira he would become.

"h-hey Yagami-san? Whats that ?" I asked gesturing to the book in his hand. He raised it up to eye level. He looked it over and shrugged and we began walking home.

"Just some book I found." He seemed to wander into his own personal thoughts for a bit and I tried to figure out a way to pry the book away from his long fingers._ Wait. What?_ I looked at his hand clutched around the Death Note. _He totally has long fingers._ And then my mind smashed into a gutter and a rosy blush graced my face accompanied by some drool.

"an-chan?" _ oh and then he could-_

"Hana-chan?"_ oh my gosh jizz face-_

"Hana-chan!"

"whu?" I replied stupidly, staring at him blankly and my face a red inferno. He was looking at me worriedly but then smiled.

"Hana-chan is such an absent-minded little girl" he said tugging on my ponytail.

"N-Ne !? Yagami-san let go ! that's not funny !" he laughed and released my hair. I tugged on a few strands of his hair while pouting.

"that's not funny Yagami-san! How do you like it ? eh ?!" he smiled and rosy sunlight tinted his face a dazzling honey color with just a tad of red reflecting off his hair. It was absolutely beautiful and my hand twitched for a pencil and some paints. He looked so pretty in that moment and I wish I had something to keep that moment on, like a piece of paper….or a photo. My stomach fluttered the bubbly acid currently neutral and at ease.

"Si vis pacem para bellum" Light looked at me as we continued to walk, a look of confusion on his soft appearance. I glanced at the black notebook and suddenly the acid wasn't so neutral anymore.

_If you wish for peace, prepare for war._

_4:36. Four plus three is seven plus thirteen. Line up, lye down. _


	3. Chapter 3

One thing that hasn't changed since I've been here is my wavering curse of waking during the night. Usually it was due to the light from the television my little sister loved oh-so-very-much but now I guess it was just habit that keeps me from sleeping. Instead of laying in bed and staring at nothing, as I used to do, I decided to instead go downstairs and sit on the couch. We had a more westernized house, I think she made it this way so I was comfortable and for that I love her dearly. I sat here on the couch for awhile, I don't exactly remember when I came down just that it was now 3:07am and my eyes ached and my tea was getting cold. The left over onigiri that was made for dinner sat on the table in a pair of three. I sat huddled on the couch with a blanket around me, a lamp was on to provide just a bit of light. I didn't want to reach out for the small snack because it was cold and I didn't want to leave my little canopy of warmth. I set my blanket down and grabbed an onigiri and took a bite. The filling inside was red and sweet. I don't recall that being in the onigiri before but it was good and I wouldn't complain.

When I finished that onigiri and was reaching for another eagerly, I heard a creek. I quickly whipped my head around, a painful crack in my neck shocking me slightly. Nothing was there in the shadows and I turned around trying to calm myself. I reached for my cup of green tea and gingerly took a sip and sighed. I ate the remaining onigiri and nursed the sugary green tea. As it came to the last bit of tea I set it down. I liked my tea with sugar, not sugar with my tea. I brought my dishes to the sink and rinsed them out then went back to my position on the couch. As I sat there I found myself dozing and went upstairs with my blanket. I lie in my warming bed slowly drifting into sleep while pondering over how I should stop Light from…become evil, becoming kira, becoming someone I didn't even recognize.

I knew I was dreaming the moment I started. The landscape around me was gloomy with light shining through the clouds randomly. I somehow was balanced on the tip of a radar pole. What do you call it ? you know those poles that send out radio waves or something ? I was on the the very top and the wind blew around me, lashing at my hair which whipped into my eyes and causing the weird dress I'm wearing to bellow and dance around me loosely. The material was a light lavender and seemed to radiate that exact color like a sheen on my tan skin and hair. I looked around and saw Light on the roof of a building bellow me. He radiated a red color that made his determined scowl look dark and menacing. He wasn't staring at me though and I turned to look at the object of his attention.

To my surprise, or am I surprised?, it was the one and only L. Dark bags beneath his eyes contrasting with his pale skin. Messy black hair adorns his head and glows with a soft blue that also encompasses his body. He stares unblinkingly at Light, eyes sharp and body hunched but ready to attack. He stands atop the edge of a building. Both theirs forms were whipped by the wind but it was as if they didn't care. All around us was gray buildings that were shorter than what we stood on. The pole I stood on had a red light that blinked at intervals and for some reason I found myself crying. I sobbed and whimpered for reasons I don't even know, as if maybe my heart knew something that I did not and it caused such grief that it burst into thousands of tears that soon became rain that poured and mixed with my tears. My dress now stuck to me like glue and the sky rumbled and the vibrations made the pole I stood upon shake. I looked down at the two of them to see they were also drenched in the down pour and now had their attention averted to me. I can just imagine how I looked. Eyes red and face pink, the dress I wore now drenched made my curvy figure look small and feeble. They stared up at me as if waiting for me to do something, to say something, I found myself at a loss of words. Tears still streaked down my cheeks mixing and intermingling with the rain but I found myself slowly becoming numb until…a shock of pain shot through my chest, my breath came in gasps and I clutched my chest. Their looks turned to shock, both reaching out to me all for naught. Blood spurted from my mouth , dark and thick. My eyes wide and staring at the emptiness below my tower so high up, I could feel my eyes bulge as I repeatedly tried to inhale which only caused me pain and more blood to ooze and drip out of my mouth, falling to the empty nothingness intermixing with the rain. Suddenly another shock of pain struck through my chest, this time accompanied by a bright light and the scent of burning flesh. The world and rain and structures all blurred as I staggered on my perch and swayed and tilted forward, falling to the endless black below me with one last wail. I turned and watched as both the red and blue faded into a dull gray then black.

I awoke with a start, my alarm ringing insistently and annoyingly loud. I silenced it and sat back in my bed, sweat coating my skin and making me uncomfortably wet and warm. My breathing was labored and I turned to check the time. 6:05 pm. Six plus five is eleven. The numbers soothed just a tad but it still wasn't enough.

"t-two, three, five, seven, eleven, thirteen-" my breath was evening and my heart slowing but I just couldn't get a grip. I fucking hate nightmares and even refuse to sleep on my back because I always have nightmares when I do. But this time I wasn't sleeping on my back. I rocked back and forth trying to pace myself, trying to ease the numbers into position and make them stand straight and lie down. Or were they suppose to line up and lie down? Fuck.

"seventeen, nineteen, twenty-three, twenty-nine, thirty-one,-" I heard the door creak open and my head popped up to look at the intruder. Beautiful brown eyes meet my gaze. Eyebrows tilted in concern and confusion. In her hands was a tray with a western breakfast of toast with jelly, orange juice, apple sauce, turkey bacon and pancakes with syrup. She walked in and set it on my desk then sat down on the bed next to me.

" Are you okay ? feeling unwell ? I checked on you around five. You've been tossing and turning all night." she said to me, voice soft and laced with concern. Her thin fingers ran through my hair, setting straight any knots that would have formed during the night.

" Nightmare" she made a face in understanding and nodded then got up.

" Everything will be fine, eat your breakfast and get ready for school. It's raining today so I'll drive you" she smiled and left, closing the door behind her. I got up and headed for the shower to start my morning.

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It was a day later that on my way home…there was a hostage situation in an elementary school. The strings on the box of cake I was holding in one hand dug into my palm as my grip tightened. My bookbag hung loosely in the other hand and my heart sped up as the scene unfolded.

As it carried on more prattle and useless talk I saw that teachers and students ran out as police ran in to the school. The lady held her hand to her ear and the one thing I was dreading was said.

"**-Has died of a heart attack. Police-"** and suddenly the grief rose up and bubbled and overflowed in the form of tears because I _don't know if I can save him._

'But who am I saving ? Light from his self ? L from Light? I don't know anymore but I have to try.' My face now caked in tears I turned to go home and came face to face with a grinning light whose face fell at the sight of my tears.

"Hana-chan ?" he inquired, reaching out. I ran past him and away, heading toward home.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am absolutely overjoyed over my first review for this story and would like to pay a special thank you to UmbraShadowGirl. Quite an interesting penname you have my friend. ( yes we are now friends, let us rejoice in friendship) and this early chapter has been written just because you decided to be my first reviewer.**

_**Arigatou gozaimasu **_

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I had ran all the way home as quick as I could, tears blurring my vision and constantly bumping into civilians. I quickly stepped out of my shoes and threw the now banged up box of cake was onto the table and I ran upstairs. I threw my book bag against the wall and reached under my bed, pulling out three clocks that were all set at the same time, ticking rhythmically with the others all in unison. I sat in the corner of my room that was left unoccupied by anything and set the three clocks around me. The ooze in my stomach bubbled and gurgled highly upset. Spider webs crawled up and down my arms and legs dancing and scratching at the skin. I looked to notice my arms were actually bleeding.

Actual scratch marks up and down my arms. I looked up and saw that I had thrown my jacket on my bed in my haste but still the overbearing feeling of dread weighed in my stomach amongst the acid.

I felt my stomach bubble and burn and soon my throat burned too. The numbers on the clocks blurred and twisted into black and morphed into a huge spider, towering over me with green acid dribbling from its mouth. The eight eyed freak stared me down with its disgusting wrongness. It was perfectly even, eight eyes, eight legs. It completely sickened me and I covered my eyes which suddenly burned. The acid in my throat was heavy and thick and I coughed trying desperately to clear my throat but only ended up gagging and coughing up thick fluid. I dared not remove my hands from my eyes which burned unbearably. Tears flowed down my cheeks in what seemed like a never ending stream. The red eyed spider was still there I just knew it. I could feel it breathing through the holes in its appendages and staring me down like a meal. The room tilted and I moved along with it, leaning against the wall now and pressing against my eyes firmly. I tried to wipe the tears away, tried to hear the ticking of the clocks that were no longer there and it was all just so hard.

My breaths were ragged and jagged, sounding as if I were breathing liquid and with each inhale and exhale I could feel something thick move around within the passages of mouth and throat. The acid in my stomach gurgled and burned like lava in a heated pit and slowly almost unbelievably the pain started to ease and I felt something grab at my shoulder. 'The spider' I thought 'it's finally going to eat me' and then everything went black.

I don't know where I was or how long I was here in this never ending darkness but all I know is that I didn't feel anything, nothing called out to me, touched me, whispered or echoed. Even my voice made no sound but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was just laying here with heavy limps and an aching arm simply floating here in nothingness and I had to ask myself 'Am I dead yet?' had the spider eaten me ?

Did it wrap me in a cocoon of silky which it made with its own body and inject me with its digestive fluids and slowly suck up my insides, leaving behind nothing but a husk of my former self? If so then where am I? Is this the life after death? It's so nice, so warm and fuzzy here. My eyes felt heavy and I couldn't open them. The acid of my stomach felt like nothing but maybe clouds or cotton candy, something soft and pleasant. I sighed this was pure bliss, nothing but pure bliss in every way you could imagine it.

"_I think she's waking up"_

"_I'll retrieve "_

"_Thank you"_ something soft and cold touched my hand, feeling as if it was barely ghosting my hand but encompassing it and squeezing firmly.

"_oh honey, what happened to you?" i-it was Natsuki-sama._I felt my mouth open and my voice cracked , lips dry and throat scratchy as I attempted to speak.

"Mom?" I cracked open my eyes which felt so heavy right now, suddenly everything ached with a dull throb for some reason. I quickly clenched my eyes shut, groaning and bringing up a heavy arm to cover them from the harsh lights.

My other hand was gripped tightly and it no longer felt like a barely there touch, she was holding my hand and brought it up to hold her damp cheek. I turned and cracked open an eye to stare at her tear streaked face. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were red and soaked in tears that even now she tried to wipe away. It broke my heart to see her cry even though she had a smile on her face and pulled and tugged at my heart strings. I quickly sat up, the I.V in my arm pinching harshly as I held her desperately trying to hush her. I wiped at her tears looking her in those beautiful brown eyes that only ever reflected love for me.

"D-don't cry. Shush don't cry mom. Not for me, okay? Never cry for me, not silly o-ole me" my voice strained to be heard and my eyes were barely able to be open as they had a very hard time adjusting to the light of the hospital room. The paper dress was thin and exposed my back and hung on me loosely but all I wanted right now was for her to stop crying.

"I was so worried. When I went up to your room y-you-"her voice cracked and she swallowed thickly. I closed my eyes unable to keep them open because of the light. I wiped at her face, wanting to erase all evidence of tears and sadness.

"Shush. I-it's okay. I'm fine. No more tears. Ever "I patted her now dry but still mostly moist cheeks.

"I love you mom" I felt her check lift in a smile and I smiled too. The door suddenly opened and we both turned to the door to see the doctor enter (not without me squinting in his direction because hello are these sunlight bulbs or something omfg why so bright?) he smiled at us and I closed my eyes and layed back in the tilted up hospital bed.

" Greetings Yukimura-san. I am Dr. Senji." He said in a pleasant voice. I covered my eyes with my arm and sighed in relief from the invasive and harsh light.

"Feeling some sensitivity in your eyes?" I nodded and heard walking before I could actually friggin feel the lights in the room dim. I peeked out and covered my eyes again.

"Still too bright ?" I nodded and assumed the light were dimmed even more. When I looked out the room was decently darker and my eyes felt way better without the extra strain. The doctor was at the wall a hand on a round knob that I assumed controlled the rooms lighting. My mother was looking at me worriedly and I smiled at her. She gave a weary smile back but looked a bit doctor walked over and pulled out a small pen flashlight thing.

" I'm going to shine the light infront of you and I want you to follow it with your eye ok?" I nodded and he placed the the pen far from my eyes before turning it on and moving it slowly from left to right. A look of confusion crossed his face and he brought the light closer and I squinted still following it with my eyes.

" What are your eyes natural eye color ?" he asked me. I scrunched my brows.

"Dark brown. Why?"

"It seems they've turned colors." He brought the light closer and then put it away. My brows rose and I blinked trying to rid myself of the after image.

"That and your eyes seem to refuse to dilate. They'll twitch a little but not dilate like their supposed to. Too much light is entering your eyes and is causing the sensitivity. I'll have a nurse bring in a pair medicated sunglasses ( I am not a doctor okay gosh. Just think about those special shades blind people or really old people use idk –flips table-) until your eyes adjust and start to dilate again. As for your eye color changing…. I really don't know how it could happen. You melanin levels must have fluctuated in your eyes and changed them but to go to this color…..I'm at a loss for words." He scratched his head and started looking through papers on his clipboard.

"When you were brought here you covered in a substantial amount of blood. You were coughing it up and it seems maybe some blood vessels in your eyes burst and was enough to turn your sclera red. We were able to flush out the blood with no problem but we couldn't find any reason as to why you were coughing up blood. "He seemed to ponder over it a bit more before saying he'd be back with some blood tests results.

I turned to my mom, confusion on both of our faces. She shrugged and I sighed.

"What time is it?" she pulled out her phone checking the time 3:00 pm. What a wonderful number. I laid back, head tilted in her direction.

"How long have I been here?"

"Since around 5 yesterday" ugh what a way to spend a Saturday. My throat felt so much better right now and my eyes burned just a tad.

"What color are my eyes?" she leaned close to my face, pondering.

"I'd say… a rich purple" she smiled. Her face was no longer red and her eyes no longer puffy but still a tad red. I groaned, purple? What the hell. Do I have Alexandria's genesis or something? This can't be true because I still have body hair and am not extremely pale. Fuck my weirdness.

"Your friend Light called" her voice was hinting and she was looking at me coyly.

"We're just friends!" she looked away with a strange glint in her eyes.

"If you need me to pick you up some condoms-"

"Mom!" she grinned devilishly.

"I just want you to be safe! There's nothing wrong with that!" she raised her hands.

"There is when nothing like that is going on! Or going to happen!" she looked off to a distant corner mumbling.

"Well not now but you never know when they'll come in handy…." By now my face burned in embarrassment and I gripped the hospital blanket tightly, hair on end"

"Nothing like that will ever happen! Ever!"

"But-"

"Ever!"

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I spent Saturday sitting in bed with my head resting on my knees and watching TV with the lights completely off. At exactly 1:48 pm the door opened. (One plus four is five plus is thirteen. Three even numbers make a prime is amazing to me)

In came my mother with a fresh pair of cloths in her hands. She smiled and raised the stack of cloths above her head.

"Guess who gets to go home today!" she closed the door behind her and handed me the cloths then turned to let me get dressed. I could've walked to the bathroom connected to the room but I don't want make the trip. I slipped on the cloths and fresh undergarments, a simple sheer long sleeved shirt that was a midnight blue with winged long sleeves and a pair of dark blue bell bottom jeans. Hidden in the stack of cloths was my Sebastian watch and…ciels's ring! I squealed and hugged my mom tightly and she returned it with equal vigor. I put the originally thumb ring on the ring finger of my left hand.

The jewel looked dark blue due to the lighting in the room but I knew it was even better in the light. I clipped on my Sebastian pocket watch and stored it in my pocket. I slipped on a pair of hospital sandals and put on the dark shades the hospital provided for me and together I and my kaa-san left the hospital.

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When I went to school on Monday my mother gave me a note that I was to shop my teachers explaining why I had to wear the shades. She promised me we would get my hair cut into bangs that would cover my eyes from sight, although she agreed albeit reluctantly, thinking my eyes were a pretty color and special.

"Like you" she said with a smile.

I had gotten a new uniform and she sowed the stitches over for me and drove me to school that morning. When I walked into class everyone was talking amongst themselves eagerly but I noticed when the room quieted just a little, a few eyes strayed in my direction but their attention went back to their conversation. I sat down in my seat and brought out the books I knew I would need for first period.

"Hey Hanna-chan" I heard Lights voice and turned to see a concerned look on his face.

"Are you okay ? I saw you crying on Friday but you ran off. Finals start today and it wouldn't be good if you pushed yourself if your stressed" genuine concerned echoed in his voice and rang bells in my heart that soon he wouldn't be this sweet and innocent anymore.

"Yeah I'm fine. I was just having some trouble with my eyes" he kneeled down, brows furrowed in concern.

"Are you okay now? Do they hurt?" I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Nah just a little sensitive to light is all but I've got these shades and I'm tough, I can handle myself Yagami-san" he smiled and ruffled my hair that I chose to wear down today. I glared at him and tried to lay down my rumpled hair.

"Whatever you say Hanna-chan"

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So we took our finals and more criminals began to die due to hearts attacks. My eyes frequently throbbed in pain and gave me headaches and to cope I'd just go to my room and lay there with the lights off for a few hours. We got our finals scores and to celebrate my passing with one of the highest grades my mom decided to have me invite Light over for dinner. And as mothers tend to do she completely embarrassed me.

"This is the picture from last year during summer break when we went to the beach! She turned so red afterwards and had sunburn for days!" my mother giggled. She and Light were sitting on the couch, she had a book of photos she took and was at the moment showing Light a picture of me in a two piece with a beach ball from last summer.

"Moooommmm" she shushed me and turned the page, showing light me dressed up as female version of Santa clause from last Christmas. Lights face was pink and he was laughing with her, commenting on how adorable I looked. It's not like it was too long ago! I admit I was a little put off by my mom shushing me…well not a little.

'Did she just shush me? Yes she did. She just shushed me.' I had gotten my hair cut by now and my eyes went back to dilating somewhat so I was able to walk around in the lighting of our house without wincing but damn it I had to get Light away from that book.

"And here's her during New Years with her kimono on!"

"Don't you think the food is going to get cold?" I waved my arms trying to entice her to close the book and get on with dinner.

"Oh right! Yes let's eat before it gets cold!

We sat at the table and dug in. Natsuki-sama was a wonderful cook unlike me who burns toast. The sliced pickles were put on a platter to share and there was one left. I reached for it with my chopsticks and bumped into another pair of chopsticks that belonged to one Light Yagami. And then the war began. My mom watched amused over us chopstick fighting over the last pickle slice. I tried stabbing his hands with the wooden sticks and yelled indignantly.

"It's mine Yagami-san ! Sod off!"

"Sod? Your Japanese is horrible; someone of such low competence doesn't deserve the last pickle!"

Did this son of a bitch just insult my intelligence? It is about to go down.

Light watched in horror as Natsuki-sama savored the last slice of pickle as she chewed, purposefully rubbing it in his face. I turned to Light slowly a menacing aura coming off me in waves. My fingers wiggled as both hands made their way to Lights neck who was distracted. He turned just before my hands latched onto his neck. He gave a awkward smile as my hands slowly tightened. He brought his hands up onto my wrist trying to remove the ever tightening appendages.

"**Light**" I smiled evilly. He started sweating and tried harder to pull off my hands.

"Y-Yeah?" I shook him fast, hands tight on his neck.

"_**Apologize !"**_

"Hanna-chan let go of Light-chan right now !"

"_**Pay for your insults!"**_

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Light was about to leave when everything started going red. My eyes throbbed and tears poured down . I wiped one away to realize it wasn't clear but red, a deep red.

"Hanna-chan?" two voices said in unison.

A jarring pain went through my head and my vision flashed white and then became an even darker red. Hands braced me as I tilted to the side.

"I'll be back with a towel" the hand was replaced with another and I grit my teeth at a particular throb of pain in my skull.

"Hannah-chan? What's wrong? What's happening?" it was Light; I turned toward his voice and pulled my hands down to see his face. What greeted me was a veil of red over a concerned Light whose eyes widened and had glowing red numbers floating above his head, my eyes widened.

Light stared in shock at the wide glowing red eyes staring up at him in suprise. He could hear Ryuk chuckle and break into a manic laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Gomen nasai Shadowgirl-chan. I didn't figure it was much of a cliffhanger but because you reviewed again I decided to upload soon. –hugs UmbraShadowGirl- kawaii desu~!**

_**Arigatou Gozaimasu**_

'_S-Shinigami eyes' Light and Hanna thought._

Mother ran down the steps a moist towel in hand. Light held me as my mother wiped at my face trying to remove the blood. I had my eyes closed and was trying to grab the towel she was frantically rubbing against my face. My fingers were wet and sticky with blood and I could hear her frantic breaths. My eyes slowly began to feel sensitive to the light and I clenched them as tight as I could.

"M-Mom, the lights"

"Could you turn the lights off please Light-san?" she asked Light. I felt his arms slip away and the lights in the hall go off. I opened my eyes, everything tinted red and glowing red numbers floating above their heads. I clawed at my cheeks and whimpered. '_This isn't suppose to happen, I wasn't suppose to get the shinigami eyes, I was suppose to stop Light, save Light, save L, save Misa and Rem and Raye and his fiancé Naomi and Mello and Matt_.'

' _oh god how did this happen' _mother pulled my hands away from my cheeks which burned and my stomach swiveled.

"Hanna-chan? What's going on Yukimura-sama?" My mother looked at my eyes in concern, examining the now red sclera, pools of red were gathering in the corner of my eyes, showing that the blood was still welling up. I stared back up at her, appearance darker due to the veil of red and numbers glowing like traffic lights. She glanced over at Light, the hall was barely illuminated by the light from the living room.

"Hana-chan has very sensitive eyes Light-kun. We thought she was getting better but…." She trailed off turning back to me. I stared at the numbers, nine plus six is fifteen plus seventeen is thirty-two plus nine is forty-one plus twenty-eight is sixty-nine plus thirty-eight is one-hundred and seven.

'_her death even adds up to a prime.'_ I pushed the damp towel into my eyes and cried against her breast.

Light stared at the scene before him, Yukimura-sama was tall for a Japanese women and Hana-chan didn't need to kneel or bend to cry into the towel on her chest. He was curious as to how she got the shinigami eyes.

'_IF she has them" _But the startled look on her face when she looked at him made him think she did and if she did….what then?

Light helped Hana up the stairs as her mother went to rinse off the towel. When he walked into her room….clocks.

Clocks were lined on the wall opposite her bed in one row, thirteen clocks, all ticking at the same time like one entity. Not one lagged behind and not one was ahead of the other, it was almost eerie how they resounded in the room. He sat her down on the bed and leaned close to her face, hands on her shoulders. He needed to know, needed to know if she had the shinigami eyes.

"Can you see me Hana-chan? How does everything look? Anything abnormal?" his voice sounded sincere with concern but she knew what he was trying to find out, she wouldn't let him get the chance to use her not like he did with Misa or Takada or Mikami.

"I-It's just red, everything is red. I'm fine Light, really" I gave him a weak smile, stomach acid bubbling and sloshing heavily against my ribcage. Something dark crossed his eyes and red tears trickled down my face. I brought a hand up to the side of his face. He looked surprised but leaned against it and brought a hand to hold it firmly to my face.

"P-promise me Light, that you'll always be good. Always be the Light I first knew." He looked at me with genuine confusion, brows furrowed in contemplation.

"What are you getting at Hana-chan?" before I could respond my mother came in with a now pink towel that once was white. Her look of worry turned to one of knowing and she squeezed the towel excitedly.

"I knew you two were together! But really to make goo-goo eyes at a time like this?" I whipped my hand away from light and pointed accusingly at my mom.

"Don't jump to conclusions!" she whined about keeping secrets from mommy and safe sex, at that Light turned pink in the face and started choking on air. He had now dry blood on the side of his cheek and my mother wiped it away scolding me for not being careful. She now took to wiping at my face and hands, dotting at me as if I was a baby. It was nice really, I didn't have a mom as a child and it was comforting to be cared about so tenderly. She tsked at my red eyes and sclera and said she would call the doctor first thing tomorrow morning. Light told her he'd be going now and showed himself to the door. I rinsed my face in the sink, my sclera slowly returning to their white color. My eyes had returned back to the rich purple and I bit my lip anxiously and squinted, my stomach clenching in uncertainty. They suddenly flashed red and my world was red again, my original name above my head but the numbers that were meant to be under it lay unseen.

I gasped in surprise and everything went back to normal. Freaky. I sighed and started to run the bath, pulling out my phone and pocket watch from my pockets. I unhooked the pocket watch and clicked it open 9:35. Nine plus three is twelve plus five is seventeen. The numbers line up and lie down so why can't my life be that easy to add up?

I groaned and stripped out of my cloths and put them in the dirty cloths hamper. I slowly lowered myself into the scalding water. My hair was tied up on the top of my head, keeping it away from water but not from frizz because of the steam in the air. I lowered myself in the tub until my chest was underwater, my legs poked up out of the water and I could see the scars criss-crossing one thigh that were slowly but surely fading away, melting into the skin and would soon vanish. Just life my old life did and is now nothing but a distant memory. I sighed tiredly and dozed off.

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I was home one day relaxing on the couch when I saw it on television.

"_**We'd like to apologize for the interruption as of now we're bringing a life worldwide broadcast of Interpol's ICPU"**_

Ohmysoul please be still.

"_**We bring you live to the ICPU" **_ my head swam and my vision turned red. I jumped up and practically hit my head on the television as I got close to it. It burned my eyes mercilessly but I had to see, had to be sure what I was seeing was real.

"_**I had up an international police task force which includes all member nations. I Am Lind L. Taylor, otherwise known as L." **_ His eyes closed in dramatization.

"_**Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to be the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira I will hunt you down, I will find you"**_

I wonder if L himself wrote these lines for him to say…questions,questions.

"_**Kira, I've got a pretty good idea of what your motivation might be and I can guess what you hope to achieve here. However, what you're doing right now is evil."**_

And I think this is the part where Light was all like "You think….I'm evil?" yes Light. Yes you are, so sorry for your mother bro and then he starts freaking out and throws chairs and pencils and shit.

And then Taylor smiled(creepy as fucking smile dude . Gosh) then after a silence that felt like hours Taylor shook, clenching his chest and gasping in pain before falling to the table in a dead heap. He was now nothing but a sack of meat and bones and flesh and organs that would soon be carried off somewhere to decay were no one can smell his stench or be burned to a crisp. I just knew Light was getting his evil laugh on right about now, cheeky bastard.

I perked up as a gothic L filled the screen with a white background. Yay.

"**huh I had to test this just in case but I never actually happen. Kira, it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't just witnessed it. Listen to me kira, if you did indeed kill Lind L. Taylor, the man you just saw die on television. I should tell you that he was an inmate. His execution was scheduled today. That was not me."**

And then Light is just piss face mad right now because L is so boss.

"**The police arrested him in absolute secrecy so you wouldn't have heard about him on TV or through the internet. It appears that not even you have access to information about these types of criminals. But I assure you L is real. I do exist. Now, try to kill me!"**

Damn it L don't encourage him. Jeez.

"**What's wrong? Hurry up! Come on, right now!" ** And then he fucking continued to rub it in Light's face like it wasn't a thing but a chicken wing! The urge to flip my coffee table in frustration was so hard; I had to settle for burying my head in cold hard wood floor and repeatedly bang my fist against it.

"**Can't you do it?... well kira, it seems you can't kill me after all" ** aaaaannnnndddd cue Ryuk's creepy laugh.

"**So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. I better return the favor, ill tell you something you'll find interesting. All though this was announced a worldwide broadcast( **and then right fucking here I accidently press fast forward and have to watch the whole fucking scene over again because I fail at life. GOSH.) **The truth is we are only broadcasting in the Kanto region of Japan. I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you but it looks like that won't be necessary. I now know where you are. The police trialed your first killing as an unrelated incident but in actuality the first of your victims was a suspect in Shinjuku. Of all the criminals that recently died of heart attacks this crime was by far the least serious."**

"**Furthermore this crime was only ever reported inside Japan. I used that information to deduce this much. You are in Japan and your first victim was little more than an experiment which means that you haven't been killing for very long. we decided to broadcast ( **and then I rewind by fucking accident and have to watch it over AGAIN god damn it all!)** in Kanto first because of its large population and luckily we found you, to be completely honest with you I never expected things to go this well but it won't be too long now before I am able to sentence you to death"**

My heart stopped right there, I was sitting on my hands and knees in front of the TV now but at that I sunk to my stomach and rolled on my back, starring at the ceiling. 'that's right….in the end…Light…..he"

"**Naturally I am very interest to know how you are able to commit these murders without being present but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer, you can answer all my questions when I capture you. Let's meet again soon, Kira."**

And then the TV showed static and the darkness in the room felt like it was devouring me, my only salvation the light it emitted. I just knew right now they were saying "**I am justice!**" And just to feel like I was a part of it I said it too. My vision slowly ebbed pink and then became normal. I coughed and thick liquid that tasted of copper coated my mouth. I sighed, lungs rumbling with liquid.

I needed to come up with a plan and take my medicine.

**the struggle for me is so real my friend. I would have had this chapter up for ya yesterday Shadow-chan but I had to get a new phone and then I ended being out all day because my dad is mental and we needed to get some Chinese for dinner . But point being I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. –hugs you tightly- I went through the struggle for you bro ! you my homie for real ! and I admit towards the end I got a little carried away so there is cussing and it is such a struggle for me to not write too many curse words because I quite frankly have a sailor mouth.**

**-shame-**

**Now I'm off to make me some breakfast. Thank you Shadow-chan and Alex-Kurotani for reviewing ! and a special thank you Shadow-chan for reviewing my story A Angry Angel. But sadly it most likely won't be continued. If you want it you can have it but the Angel in it is A from my story Apples and the last chapter has some notes you might need if you want it.**


	6. Chapter 6

Light –the little bastard- invited me to go to an amusement park with him. It was a slightly chilly day that I knew would be eventful. And telling from the shifting newspaper behind me I knew I was right. I glanced at Light, he looked cheeky as all hell and it doesn't fail to irk me to no end. Light caught my glaring and turned to me.

"What?"

"You got a little something all over your face" I motioned with a scrunched up face. Light looked confused and brought a hand to his face"  
"What is it?" he said rubbing his face.

"The ugly" I grinned and he nudged me, chuckling.

The bus stopped and a lone man got on. His hands were deep in his pockets and his head was down, he walked up to the bus driver and pulled out a gun.

(I'm going to skip most of this part because quite frankly it is way too troublesome to go back and watching the episode over again)

All I really remember of that day is Light writing a note saying he would stop the hijacker and then the man- Raye Penbar- said that he would do it.

"It's too dangerous"

Then Light said that Raye might be in on the hijacking. He was going to show him his I.D but I turned to him, my vision red and wavering.

"I Believe You"

I turned to Light, his eyes were wide and calculating, he tried to insist.

"We don't know who this guy is-!" I cut light off by grabbing his hand with the piece of Death note paper that he had planned to drop oh-so-conveniently. I balled the piece of paper in my hand and stood.

"Ssshhh" I smiled and swayed, everything was starting to blurr. I wasn't supposed to mess up the flow but I had to. So as I ran up to the man, my vision veiled in red and something sticky was dripping down my face I raised my arm, my hands gripped each other and he turned to me, gun drawn and a look of panic on his face, he never shot at me, but I reeled my arms to one side and struck him on the side of the head with my elbow.

He fell, groaning and dropped his gun, clutching his head. Raye ran up from behind me and gripped the man's wrists and promptly cuffed him. My knees trembled and the numbers above Raye's head blinked and started to climb higher and higher. I coughed, dark red blood splattered on the palm of my hand and I clenched it, breathing deeply and counting my primes.

"Two, Three, Five, Seven, Eleven, Thirteen" I sank to my knees. The sound of car sirens could be heard in the distance. I kept counting, rocking back and force trying to make everything okay. The deep gurgle of my stomach acid sent my subconscious through flips.

"Hanna-chan?" I dully acknowledge Light's voice in the background with all the murmuring voices and growls and chirping of people and insects and oh lord I'm going to be sick.

A hand was placed on my shoulder. I quickly jerked away, mumbling obscenities. My fingers threaded through my hair, smearing blood and turning the brown into a dark brown. I looked up at Light who was standing over me with a hesitant look on his face. People had started to leave the bus a bit ago and now only me and Light were on it besides the prescence of Ryuk who was watching the whole scene play out with a weird smile across his face.

"One does not simply become god" I said.

Light looked shocked and something dark flashed across his eyes. I stood on shaky legs and glared at Light hard. My eyes were red as were the sclera. I must have looked frightening because Light took a step back.

"Oh do not tell the priest of our art, for he will call it sin. But you, my dear friend, can you find the end ?"

His hesitant face morphed into a dark smile and he reached a hand toward me.

"You must be tired, I'll walk you ho-" I slapped his hand away.

"Don't talk to me…. Not until you become my Light-kun again. My Light-kun that does nothing but study and-….maybe you were never my Light-kun, maybe I don't even know you" I backed away and lLights creepy smile fell. A look of longing graced his face and reached out to me again.

I ran off the bus, dry blood crusted on my cheeks and I tried to rub it off. Raye ran up to me and escorted me to a police car.

After that everything is a shaky blur.

I think I was taken in for questioning or maybe I was taken to the ambulance and cleaned up and then went to the police station for questioning. I don't really know. I know I woke up the next morning in bed with Natsuki-sama. We were both in our pajamas and she was hugging me tightly. I wonder if this is what it feels like to have a mother. This warmth, so much warmer than the hugs of a step-mother, I felt so much safer right here in her arms, I wish this moment would never end.

I'm so tired and the days ahead of me are going to be so long and tiring. I sighed and snuggled closer to my adopted mother.

**I'm so sorry for not updating in who knows how long but you know how life is with school and-and boys and oh sweet lord **_**boys**_** . I just cant fucking deal. I'm writing this pretty much because I'm bored and on bed rest because I sprained my neck trying to roll over in bed (I'm so fat dammit). This is also the third attempt at writing this chapter. In one chapter she was working at a green house and saw the accident and another I was actually working on during school but yeah whatever .**

**the reason she has number OCD or whatever is because I had read this book about a boy that had it and I became obsessed with the thought of it. The boy in the book only ever threw up over it but I actually make Hanna-chan feel more and there is a reason why she coughs up blood. The bleeding from her eyes is because she didn't obtain the shinigami eyes from a shinigami but developed them since she was thrown into DN world. And something like that isn't going to show up with no problem when she isn't suppose to have them.**


	7. Chapter 7

I had decided to take a walk today; Natsuki-Sama was worried because I had been hauled up in my room for the past couple of days. Even when my acceptance letter from To-Oh came I couldn't truly bring myself to care. I guess coming to terms that I couldn't stop Light with the friend-pleading-friend role was hard for me, that and I would have to think of a better plan that ends with no one dead. If I could manage that. The sky was gloomy today and I think in a way it was mocking me. I sighed and checked my pocket watch. 3:19. Three plus one is four plus nine is thirteen. I felt myself relax and I rubbed my eyes, my umbrella dangled on my wrist and annoyingly bumped into me every time I moved. There wasn't that many people out today which was honestly a surprise seeing as Kyoto is pretty busy all the time.

I stopped and looked up into the gray sky. I could smell the moisture in the air as it stuck to my face. I bet I stuck my tongue out I could taste it.I smiled and remembered an old nursery rhyme my grandmother told me once-upon-a-time. I mumbled it quietly, trying not to attract more attention to myself than was necessary.

"Little Willie, dressed in sashes, fell in the fire and burned to ashes. After a while the room grew chilly but no one wanted to poke up Willie." I murmured and chuckled just a tad. I felt something boring into my back and turned to the window of what I thought was a store. Dark wide eyes stared at me unblinkingly, dark bags hung beneath them and it took everything in me not screech, in fact I'm surprised I even kept a straight face. He was hunched over in his seat; seeming to not even care that me, a complete stranger, locked gazes with him. I flinched and looked up as lighting tore through the sky, I stepped back as rain started to drizzle and slowly become a heavy downpour. I decided, hesitantly, to go inside what I now saw was a Café. It smelled sickeningly sweet and everything was disgustingly bright. I like color as much as the next person but this place was downright _weird_ when it came to the décor.

I took a seat not too far from his perch in the booth next to the window. A girl I recognized from my class ran up to me, a notepad and pen in hand. She was one of those girls that always seemed to be smiling but I could tell, as my vision flashed red, that her numbers were fluctuating as if she couldn't decide anymore if she wanted to just end it all. Her work uniform was bright and I was beginning to wish my vision would just stay red, at least then everything would be in shades of red and white.

I told her my order and she skipped away but as my vision went red again I could see that at least a year was permanently gone off her life span. 'Good' I thought. 'Now at least some of her numbers are prime' I held down the smile that was tugging at the edge of my lips. Now back to the man who was still staring me down, I hadn't thought of a way to get on his good side yet. In fact I didn't even think I was going to get a chance to meet him without Light being there. I doubt L would even trust me at all. I wonder if I looked suspicious….. I was just wearing a dark green shirt and a pair of jeans that was scratched up at the knee and a simple pair of black shoes. My hair was in a low ponytail and was bushy beyond belief, it was hard finding a hair dresser that could take my mane of hair and make it into something presentable. Even being bushy it was still the longest I've ever seen it. Maybe I do look suspicious…probably like a creep. I gave a dry chuckle and looked over at L. He was openly staring me down and it was slightly disconcerting to say the least. He had his thumb poised in front of his mouth, relentlessly nibbling on it.

I brought my thumb to my mouth and gently touched the teeth to the nail and looked at him wide eyed. He blinked and tilted his head to the side, probably wondering if I was mocking him, which at this moment I actually was. I tilted my head even more than he did, seemingly breaking my neck of which was long, sadly. He tilted his head the other way and as I tilted mine I heard a sharp crack, my vision flashed red and I gripped my neck. My face screwed in pain as I looked at him. He seemingly wore a smug look and I grumbled looking away with a blush on my cheeks. This is exactly what I get for mocking him, acting so childish, I'm older than that and…oh well I admit I had a bit of fun. I turned as the girl came back with my order. It was a simple slice of apple pie with a slice of a fresh apple on it. At one corner was a leaf and when I smelled it I recognized it to be sweet mint. I smiled and set it aside. I took small bites and enjoyed the sweetness and flakiness of the crust.

Suddenly I heard the scratching of a chair and looked up to see two bottomless pits of eyes staring me down and now closer than before. I jumped back and gasped, lodging a piece of pie in my wind pipe. I started choking, my eyes shut and banging on my chest repeatedly. I looked at L for a second, he was staring me down blankly, probably enjoying watching me choke to my death. I swallowed and gasped, I could feel how red my face was and the three other people in here looked at me as if I was going to die. I cleared my throat and asked him in an inquisitive tone.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. You could start by telling me your name" he said it in English. The cashier looked in our direction, he looked nervous as if we were bad people. I didn't even know if I could speak in English anymore. My face contorted into confusion, not at all sure if I replied would it be in English. He continued on anyway.

"You purposefully sat close to me and went about copying my movements. I assume you know me?" the way he phrased it was a question but I knew he was stating a fact. I had to play dumb, had to not lead him, let him know I was on his side….or was this opportunity I needed? I picked up my fork and continued to eat the tasty pastry set before me and continued to talk to him.

"I don't know you, I just thought you were funny is all" I said not meeting his eyes. I took a bite and chewed slowly. My breathing was starting to pick up and I could feel the black acid starting to swirl in an almost calm whirl pool deep within my belly.

"I think you do know me. And from the way you were mocking my movements I assume you hold quite a bit of fondness toward me."

"You're delusional" I snapped. The calm whirlpool became violent waves of sticky blackness that was finding its way up my throat and sticking to the edges of my vision that was slowly tinting red.

"You're paranoid and need to be held up in a mental institute"

"Paranoid?"

"And a creep. Not to mention a pervert, I mean who walks around staring women down like they've never seen one before"

"A pervert? " I was losing my nerve and my hands were becoming clammy and were shaking. I suddenly realized I sounded like one Misa Amane. I looked at the lone apple slice and thought about the one clue Light had given L and perhaps if L had his own little weapon he could have brought Light down. The phrase echoed in my head. L was talking again but I paid him no mind.

"_L, did you know,-"_

"Gods of death love apples" I whispered, staring intently at the slice. I looked up and caught L's gaze. Compared to his normal stare he was now glaring me down in realization of what I had said. I pulled out some money and threw it on the table. L whipped out his phone and started dialing a number hastily. I got up and went to get the hell out of there when the inky blackness exploded into my mouth. I coughed and felt something splatter on my hand that I had brought up to cover it. I looked and saw it, that dark inky blackness that reflected a deep red in the light. I was hit with a wave of vertigo and I gripped the table to balance myself. L got up and went to take my wrist and twist it behind my back.

I flung my arm away and coughed more black acid. My vision was red and from the inhale I heard come from L my eyes was now red. I ran towards the door, L running after me. As I opened the door the acid black burnt my mouth with a copper so hot that it came out in a torrent of bubbling liquid. I coughed and gagged and immediately the few people out and about in the down pour avoided being hit. L grabbed me by the hair and I screeched and elbowed him in the face.

"Don't touch me !" I said. The rain was now coming down in a torrent. My cloths stuck to my body uncomfortably. I looked at L hard. He was now nothing but shades of dark red and white. The numbers above his head glowed white and ticked down steadily. L looked at me and I felt as though my whole world would end right here. My back ached and my vision flashed white. The next thing I knew I was sprawled out on the concrete, staring at the sky. L looked down on me, I could see that he had flipped his phone close and his fluorescent numbers started to go up. The seconds still ticked down but the months and then years started to climb. Then they started to flicker. Then he started to flicker. And before I knew it I was out like a light. But deep in the recess of my mind the nursery was sung by an aging voice from so many years ago and I could hear the crackle and splinter of wood.

**Little Willie, **

**dressed in sashes, **

**fell in the fire and burned to ashes.**

**After a while the room grew chilly**

**but no one wanted to poke up Willie.**

"_Mommy?"_

.

.

.

I woke with a start, my heart was racing and a cold sweat dotted my brow. For a second I contemplated where I was and realized I was laid out on something soft. My hair was damp and frizzed wildly everywhere and some of it stuck uncomfortably to the side of my face. The pillow I laid upon was incredibly soft but the bed was uncomfortably stiff. I moved and heard a few of my vertebrae pop and everything eased. My eyes fluttered as sweet relief flushed over me. I realized that I wasn't wearing pants and come to think of it has my bed always been this hard?

I looked up and found myself in an unfamiliar room. I suddenly recalled what had happened and cursed. I got up and heard a clinking sound as my wrist moved to support me. What I saw was enough to make me pull at my ruffled hair.

A fucking cuff was wrapped securely around my wrist and the chain was extended to have the other cuff attached to the bed post. My shoulders sunk and I saw that my legs that were now folded under me were covered by a striped pair of boxers that stopped mid-thigh. My top was covered by a -if you can believe it- white long sleeved shirt. I rubbed the fabric of the shirt between my fingers.

"_It's soft"_ I thought. But back to the situation at hand, I was cuffed to a bed in what most likely is a hotel room. First thing first, I needed to get free. I grabbed the cuff and tried to squeeze my hand through. I winced at the thought that flickered through my head when my hand couldn't squeeze out. I grabbed my hand and closed my eyes and braced myself for the inevitable pain of breaking the joints inside of my hand and snapping my wrist when the door suddenly opened.

And in walked Watari, in the flesh.


End file.
